What matters is that you make a decision. Dreams don't count. They are as good as excuses. Meet the power of resistance in your big dreams. Meet the chains of procrastination in your big dreams. Meet death, in your big dreams.
It's kind of like death. It really is.
The truth is, we have no idea what's going to happen. We never will. That will never change. All we can do is start something today, not tomorrow, not next week, not if and when [X], [Y], and [Z] happen.
Today. Just today. No matter what's going on around you, no matter what resources you have, no matter how you feel.
Now is the only time you have. Yes right now. Life is in the doing, in the figuring out, in the mystery of failing and experimenting and risking... something, for the love of God, anything.
It's about making a decision, putting your attention on it, breathing life into it, feeling yourself in it. It's not about your wishes for the future, your alibis, your grand tales...
Spin the tales in your mind and that's what you'll always be, an illusion, a great escapade of nothing...
Do something. Do anything. For the love of God, make a decision.
Watch the paint splatter. Let it go who knows where. Watch the words form, saying, what? Watch the chords stream together, isolated notes finding each other like lovers from ancient times, some future that may or may not happen, but my God it sounds good now, today, this moment...
It sounds good.
It looks good.
It makes sense.
You're creating. You're making something out of nothing and that's all that matters.